Tantrums and Attachment

My son is three and has a desperate need to be next to, or on top of me at all times. Since I am his foster mother, not his biological mother I am a bit lost with the entire “three year old” behavior. He has quickly become very attached to me and has a distinct need to check where I am constantly and would like nothing better than to sit on top of me for the entire day.

This presents a problem for a couple of reasons; the first is that he is not the only child in the home. His younger brother, who is now six months old, also lives with us, and I have a five year old daughter in the home as well. My daughter is in school all day so she is not here for him to play with. My three year old continuously comes into whatever room I am in and tells me “Mommy, I want to” or something else to that effect.

I am not sure if this is the normal behavior of a typical three year old, or if it is mainly because of the fact that he has been at my home for three months now and I have been a stable force in his life that whole time.

The needing me all the time I am somewhat handle, but lately he has been having tantrums on a grand scale. The start with a fake cry that could give my five year old a run for the Emmy Award I am going to nominate her for; the cry is followed by yelling, stomping and my favorite, screaming. These tantrums come for almost any reason and you can never tell when they are going to erupt. But I can tell you that I need to have them stop, because the screaming grabs the base of my spine and pulls until you give some kind of reaction.

My first impulse on hearing the tantrum is to scream myself; then I count to ten and go into whatever room he is in and tell him that the behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated in the house. This is met with one of two reactions, he either stops the fit, or he really throws himself into it and makes sounds that rattle the walls of the house.

I have no idea how to stop, or even curb these tantrums that are now happening a few times a day, but I think I am going to invest in a pair of ear plugs